Advice For the Sister of the Groom
When you are the sister of the groom, it can be a very interesting time. For some sisters, it is a fun period in their lives, but for others it can dredge up some difficult feelings. Here is some advice on how to have the most fun being the sister of the groom, and how to get your relationship with the bride off to a great start.
Weddings are times of great joy, but they can also be times of great stress. It is also a time when jealousy is likely to rear its ugly head. You would not be the first sister of the groom to feel jealous because he is getting married before you, or because your parents are giving him all of their attention and money. Envy is also common when the bride’s parents are putting on a more lavish affair than the groom’s sister was able to afford. All of these feelings are entirely normal, even if you are as happy as can be for your brother and love his fiance to death. The key is to acknowledge them to yourself, and then let them go.
There are many ways that the groom’s sister can get involved in the wedding planning. The very first one (and the most important) is to let the bride know how thrilled you are to be gaining her as a sister and to offer to help her with the wedding in any way that you can. From there, you will have to take your lead from the bride. If you live in the same town, she might be delighted to rely on you to help her meet with florists and shop for a bridal gown. On the other hand, in some families, the bride and her mother handle almost all of the planning themselves, so try not to take it personally if the bride does not take you up on your offer to help.
One type of help that any bride will gladly accept from the groom’s sister is advice on how to get along with different family members. Joining a new family can feel like moving to a foreign country at times, and any bride would be happy to have a road map from one who knows the ins and outs. The relationship between a new bride and her mother-in-law can be one of the trickiest to establish, and anything that the groom’s sister can do to help get them off on the right path would be a very nice gesture.
As the sister of the groom, you will probably be invited to participate in the wedding in some way. The usual roles for the groom’s sister are bridesmaid or ceremony reader. If you are a bridesmaid, it is imperative that you do not indulge in the typical bridesmaids’ gossip about how ugly the dresses are. This is the sort of thing that the bride’s sister might be able to get away with, but if it gets back to the bride that her future sister-in-law has been criticizing her taste, she will probably take great offense.
If you are asked to be a bridesmaid, make the most of it. Should the dress not be to your liking, there are beautiful sets of bridesmaid jewelry available that will help to give it more style. Of course, the bride will often give her attendants bridesmaid jewelry sets as gifts; if you offer to help her shop for them, perhaps you can steer her towards pieces that you really like. Just don’t be like my good friend’s sister-in-law was; she complained incessantly about the dresses, didn’t show up for fittings, didn’t get her shoes until the last minute, and generally acted like being in her brother’s wedding was a major imposition. You can just imagine how this made the bride feel about her!
The final thing that the sister of the groom should do is plan to give a toast at the wedding. It need not be long, just heartfelt. A few nice words about your happiness for your brother at finding such a perfect woman and your joy at getting a new sister would be ideal. You will be known as a very gracious sister of the groom, and you will add to the newlyweds’ happiness on their special day.